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About Valerie

I’ve started over more times than most people would consider reasonable.

At this point, it’s practically a hobby.

I got married at nineteen.

Twenty-four years and three kids later, that marriage ended.

Naturally, I responded by getting married again.

Because apparently I enjoy learning lessons the hard way.

I’ve moved more than thirty times. I’ve lived in Kansas City, Phoenix, Vancouver, Rome, Florence, and Valencia.

I’ve been an interior designer, fitness instructor, commercial real estate professional, entrepreneur, author, speaker, investor, and host of The Selfish Woman Podcast.

I’ve built beautiful lives. I’ve built the wrong lives. I’ve built lives that looked perfect on paper and felt completely wrong from the inside.

And I’ve become surprisingly good at knowing the difference.

At one point I was carrying six figures of debt. Today I’m debt-free.

At one point I thought starting over at fifty would be terrifying. It turns out staying the same was far scarier.

I got married in Rome. The wedding was spectacular. The marriage? Mixed reviews.

I spent six months restoring a historic apartment in Valencia. Every tile, every light fixture, every piece of furniture was chosen with obsessive attention to detail.

Then I walked away from it.

The apartment. The marriage. The life I thought I wanted.

Which was, admittedly, an expensive way to learn a lesson.

But some lessons are worth the price.

People often ask how I became interested in this work. The answer is simple.

I’ve spent my life standing at the edge of one version of myself and deciding whether or not to jump.

Sometimes I jumped. Sometimes I waited too long. But eventually I learned something that changed everything:

The life that’s meant for you usually sits on the other side of a decision you’re afraid to make.

That realization became a book. A podcast. A body of work. A community. And eventually, a movement.

For years, I helped women leave, heal, rebuild, and trust themselves.

And then I became obsessed with a different question.

The Question

What happens
after freedom?

The question this whole body of work now circles.

What happens when you’ve left the marriage? Done the healing? Learned the boundaries? Found your voice? Remembered who you are?

Then what?

That’s the question I’m interested in now. Not how to survive. Not how to cope. Not how to become a better woman.

But how to build a life that feels so alive, so rich, so deeply your own that you can’t wait to wake up and live it.

These Days

You’ll usually find me reading three books at once, walking by the ocean in Vancouver, planning my next adventure, working on The Society, writing, recording podcast episodes, or dreaming up ways to use capitalism to help more women become free.

A Few Things I Believe

I believe desire is information.

I believe life is meant to feel exquisite.

I believe women have spent far too long preparing for a life they’re not actually living.

And I believe it’s never too late to begin again.

Trust me. I’ve had a lot of practice.

— Valerie

The World

Where to begin.

begin

Ready to find out what’s been
running your life?